ادخلو بليز واعطوني رايكم في خاطرتي

[ocean girl]

from awhile it came to me the idea to be awriter all people who know me said that Ihave abeautiful style in writting but Iwant the opinion from people who don`t know me so I wrote something and I wrote it in 5 min >>>please give your opinion honestly
.................................................. ...............................
I`m standing here with all the pain in my heart
all people are around me and alawys with me
but Ifeel like I`m alone in these world
Ihave atears in my eyes
who will take it away
who will but the hope in my heart again
I see the stars in the sky are shinning for me
the waves in the ocean are racing to reach to me
and the trees are dancing to me under the moon light
and now I`m on my knees praying to god
ooh allah I was stupid
I`m not alone allah is with me
and he will alawys be

[kokies]

Sure you have abeautiful style in writting
Thanks and best wishes

[aalienx]

you have a beautiful style in writing just pay attention to some mistakes like i'm alone in this not these world and i have tears not (a tears) in my eyes. good luck

[brown_samra]

a great beginning
just as my colleague aalinex pointed out
pay attantion to grammar and spelling mistakes
who will but the hope
should be put

[humanfaith]

from awhile it came to my mind the idea to be a writer. All the people who know me said that I have a beautiful style in writing but I want the opinion from people who don`t know me, so I wrote something and I wrote it in 5 min >>>please give your opinion honestly
.................................................. ...............................
I`m standing here with all the pain in my heart
all the people are around me and always with me
but I feel like I`m alone in this world
I have tears in my eyes
who will take it away
who will but the hope in my heart again ( the sentence is wrong)
I see the stars in the sky are shinning for me
the waves in the ocean are racing to reach to me
and the trees are dancing to me under the moon light
and now I`m on my knees praying to God
ooh Allah I was stupid
I`m not alone, Allah is with me
and he will always be

[مهندس المستقبل]

السلام عليكم ورحمه الله وركاته.
In fact ,you are very good .I hope to help me to provide my language:smailes85:

[ola4]

i agree with humanfaith in the mistakes he pointed about
but u have a style in writing
but above all u have to remember that writing in english is not like arabic
and that u shouldnt be transalting

more mistakes
who will put the hope in my heart again
and He will always be

good luck
the waves in the ocean are racing to reach me